For the Rusty Traveler That Has Been Quarantined All Year

11 Dec For the Rusty Traveler That Has Been Quarantined All Year

Posted at 15:30h in Travel Stories by Caroline Rose 0 Comments

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At the start of 2020, I had high hope and dreams. You know how the story goes, because we all did. 2019 changed us and walking into the new year we were all optimistic and ready to be showered in blessings…lol.

For me, I started my year off having just returned from traveling 6 months in Asia. I had become accustomed to the travel lifestyle and cringed at the thought of staying in the U.S. for more than 3 months. I was ready to get a visa to Australia or honestly go anywhere my bank account would allow me. Pumped full of adrenaline, I was ready to take the world on and with loads of experience underneath my belt I felt like nothing could phase me.

Fast forward to now, and everyday is the same and there’s little to no excitement in my life. I don’t mean to say that to be negative. In fact, I’m proud of what I’ve made of the situation we’re in. I’ve gotten more serious about this travel blogging thing, I learned new skills and switched careers, and I have an optimistic outlook on the future.

“The woman heating up leftovers is worth no less than the woman dining at sunset in a village that took a passport to get to. We are the same person in different places. Both are integral parts of who I am.”

Morgan Harper Nichols

But in order to survive this year, I had to really convince myself I was comfortable with being stagnant and to create routine. In doing so, I’ve found myself kind of losing my edge. There’s no other way to say it. And after reflecting on this, I realized…

The things that come with traveling (especially alone), like taking risks, being open to opportunities, and constantly adapting, are like a muscle. And if you don’t exercise them, you actually have to work to get them back.

Maybe not for everyone, but for me that stuff doesn’t come naturally.

I noticed this most on my last two recent domestic trips: a few days alone exploring parts of West Virginia and up to New Hampshire to visit my friend. With both trips, I found myself extremely anxious about things that wouldn’t have bothered me a year ago.

Now part of this was covid related anxiety (flying to NH I was very, very nervous). But on my WV trip it was just the solo travel jitters. Like I was a newbie at this again and nervous about all the different things that could go wrong. I even struggled with packing light and knowing the right stuff to bring without taking my whole room.

I’m not going to lie, all this kind of upset me. Am I really someone now that gets nervous about leaving their home? Who isn’t used to constant change? Who am I??

But I’ve started to come to terms with the fact that, yes, I am different than the person I was a year ago. We all are because we’ve had to be. And that’s okay. No version of myself is better than the other.

In the words of Morgan Harper Nichols, “The woman heating up leftovers is worth no less than the woman dining at sunset in a village that took a passport to get to. We are the same person in different places. Both are integral parts of who I am.” (Read the full caption here).

…

Honestly, I sometimes tear up even reading that back because it’s been a rough year and I have to remind myself of those words quite often. I have to remember to be kind to myself especially given all the circumstances.

The edgy traveler ready for any adventure thrown at her is still here. I’m still going to explore the world on my own when this is over, I just might be a little rusty getting back into it. But that’s okay. Because I didn’t know what I was doing last time either, and look at all the joy and experiences that brought me then.